Subject: Kindness to Parents
Thy Lord hath decreed, that ye worship none save Him, and (that ye show) kindness to parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age with thee, say not “Fie” unto them nor repulse them, but speak unto them a gracious word. And lower unto them the wing of submission through mercy, and say:
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”Rabbir-hamhumaa kamaa rabba-yaanii sagiira”
(My Lord! Have mercy on them both as they did care for me when I was little)
Al Quran, Surah Banii Israaa-‘iil (Children of Israel) (17):23-24.
Respect your Mother
“My mum only had one eye. I hated herâ€¦she was such an embarrassment. She cooked for students and teachers to support the family. There was this one day during elementary school where my mum came to say hello to me. I was so embarrassed. How could she do this to me? I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school one of my classmates said, “EEEE, your mum only has one eye!” I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mum to just disappear. I confronted her that day and said, â€œIf you’re only goanna make me a laughing stock, why don’t you just die?” My mum did not respond… I didn’t even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings. I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her. So I studied real hard, got a chance to go abroad to study. Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. I had kids of my own. I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts, then one day; my mother came to visit me. She hadn’t seen me in years and she didn’t even meet her grandchildren. When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited. I screamed at her, “How dare you come to my house and scare my children!” GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!” And to this, my mother quietly answered, “Oh, I’m so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address,” and she disappeared out of sight. One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip. After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity. My neighbours said that she died. I did not shed a single tear. They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have.
“My dearest son, I think of you all the time. I’m sorry that I came to your house and scared your children. I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you. I’m sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up. You see…when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn’t stand watching you having to grow up with one eye. So I gave you mine. I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye. With all my love to you, Your mother.”
”Abu Huraira (ra) reported Prophet Muhammad (sallalahu alayhi wasalam) as saying: Let him be humbled into dust; let him be humbled into dust. It was said: O Messenger of Allah, who is he? He said: He who sees either of his parents during their old age or he sees both of them, but he does not enter Paradise (because he has been undutiful to them).” (Muslim)
Parents go through so much to see their children happy, and work ends to give them the best in life. However, what we see nowadays is shocking, and the treatment they get, a disease spreading like wildfire. Raising voices at them, disobeying commands, disrespecting, insulting, showing rudeness, list is endless.
Kindness to parents is a major obligatory act on all Muslims, especially to our mothers. Prophet Muhammad (sallalahu alayhi wasalam) said: “Heaven lies beneath the feet of the mothers”.
In another Hadith: A man went to the Prophet Muhammad (sallalahu alayhi wasalam) and asked, “O Prophet of Allah – whom amongst the people is most deserving of my kind companionship?” The Prophet (sallalahu alayhi wasalam) replied, “your mother”. The man returned, “then whom?â€ The Prophet (sallalahu alayhi wasalam) replied, “your mother”. The man asked again, “then whom?â€ The Prophet (sallalahu alayhi wasalam) replied, “your mother”. The man asked, “then whom?â€ The Prophet (sallalahu alayhi wasalam) replied, “then, your father”.
In the Qur’an, Allah (Subhaana Wa Ta’aala) states:
And We have enjoined upon man concerning his parents – His mother beareth him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years – Give thanks unto Me and unto thy parents. Unto Me is the journeying. But if they strive with thee to make thee ascribe unto Me as partner that of which thou hast no knowledge, then obey them not. Consort with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who repenteth unto Me. Then unto Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what ye used to do – (Surah Luqman (31):14-15)
It is a command from Allah (Subhaana Wa Ta’aala) that we give thanks to Him, and to our parants. Being loving to our parents and showing kindness will bring happiness to every person and please Allah (Subhaana Wa Ta’aala). So next time (insha’Allah), go to your parents, ask them if you have been a righteous son or daughter, and seek forgiveness for anything you may have done to upset them, past and present.
It is also narrated in Hadith by Abu Dawood: While we were with Prophet Muhammad (sallalahu alayhi wasalam), a man of Banu Salmah came to Him and said: Apostle of God is there any kindness left that I can do to my parents after their death? He replied: Yes, you can invoke blessings on them, forgiveness for them, carry out their final instructions after their death, join ties of relationship which are dependent on them, and honour their friends.
May Allah (Subhaana Wa Ta’aala) help me be dutiful to my parents, and the Ummah be dutiful to their parents, and forgive us all for showing any disrespect, ameen.
”Worship Allah and join none with Him in worship, and show kindness to parents….” Surah An-Nisa (4):36
Wa Alaikum Assalaam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatahu